"i want to laugh about everything that *could* be,
instead of cry about everything that *is*"

brother

I saw him smile again today.
for the first time in months.
yet i could see the stoop of his shoulders,
the weight on his heart,
the sorrow resolutely held at bay.
and i cried inside for the pain he suffered.
and i looked at him,
as though i could never see him enough.
his eyes are more brown than they used to be.
and i missed him again,
more than before.
and i prayed.
a silent prayer,
while he scrutinized me,
and tried to read my eyes.
i tried to tell him,
with silent words,
that i love him.
that i miss him.
that i wish he was himself again.
that i know his hurt.
that i bear his pain every day.
but i don't know if he read that.
i don't know if he believes me.

rain...

I really want to write poetry...but my poetic brain seems to be too tired...if anything comes tonight i'll be sure to put it up within the week.
it's pouring rain, and very warm, so i have my window wide open, and i'm listening to the beautiful sound of rainfall on the city. it's the only time i ever love the city...at night, when it rains.

"there's something about the way the street looks when it's just rained: there's a glow off the pavement..." -taylor swift


"let the rain fall down, everywhere around you.
give into it now, let the day surround you.
you don't need a reason, let the rain go on and on." -enya


"ohhh, remember when it rained.
in the water i remained." -josh groban

"in the rain, the pavement shines like silver; all the lights are misty in the river." -les miserables (musical)


"unleash your fury, fill the sky.
let your clouds explode, go on and cry
your tears of mercy,
give me time.
unlock your winds and let them blow,
let your lightning strike, your thunder roll:
come on rain!" -steve holy

"Lord, when i get to heaven, can i taste the milky way?
i don't wanna come to visit cause i'm coming home to stay.
and i can't wait to see my family and meet Jesus face to face.
and do you think, Lord, you could use another angel,
to help pour out the rain?" -buddy jewel

"if it's going to rain, i hope it pours." -george strait

"in the city in the rain, among the beautiful lights.
in the city in the rain i think i'll dance all night." -the 6ths

Did you...?

Did you see the moon?
it shone so bright on my floor...
i wanted to talk to you,
but you were gone.

Did you hear the wind?
it blew so gently through my window...
i tried not to think of you,
you were gone.

Did you feel the calm?
it lay so quietly upon my covers...
i cried because i missed you.
you are gone.

 © Aisha 2010

happiness today...

_instead of writing an essay, i took a walk. I took it to a book shop, and left it outside while i browsed, buried my nose in musty old books and inhaled their rich odor, filled with memories of bookshelves gone by. i picked up my walk again when i left the book shop, and took it toward Lancaster proper. (in other words the busiest part of Lancaster).

_i glimpsed the familiar faces of friends about town as they went about their daily lives...

_i randomly met an acquaintance on the street, and we decided to have coffee together, and talked about things. random things.

_making new friends (two of them, today, in fact)

_i sniffed the faint, sweet fragrance of a magnolia tree blossom, with the knowledge of Spring in its petals, in an old church courtyard, and smiled

_i saw a friend's face light up in recognition when she saw me, then continued about her life...

_gathering with young people intent on God. and learning, and laughing, and loving with them.

_singing with the music in my car, and remembering the happiness of the day.

William Butler Yeats

Had I the heaven's embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

~ ~ ~

I especially like the last stanza.

Thanks for reading.

- aisha

I finished reading The Silmarillion today!
I've been reading it for a few years now. I feel as though something has been accomplished.

Thought I'd put this up. It's a lovely song.

Nickel Creek - When You Come Back Down



Thanks for reading!
- aisha