Friday, February 19, 2010

I bless the Lord.

I have been stressing out all day, and sort of forgetting that God is in charge. My SAT is approaching way too fast, and I really feel very inadequately prepared for it. Not a good feeling. Makes me irritable, and more than once today I've been sharp with my brother, impatient with my mother, and not bothering that anybody else is also human and needs kindness. Selfish much?

Then I hear this song, or one from the same album:

Running out of my bedroom to tend something in some other part of the house, or bent over my books, my mind spinning rather like the fan in my laptop, trying to work and cool off at the same time, and usually just overheating until I close something that's sucking too much CPU! Then this song comes up in my iTunes playlist, and, whether I'm running, or spinning, or thinking, or just stressing--for a moment, I stop.
For a moment I am still.
For a moment, there is silence.
For a moment I hear a still, small, sweet voice reminding me of who is in charge. And I say a prayer, for anything, whether it be strength, faith, courage for myself, or healing, endurance, provision, patience, etc., for a loved one.
And for a moment I can breathe.
For a moment I have peace.

Until the next thought catches me and I'm running, or bent over the books, or any one of the many whatever-I-need-to-be-doing-right-now things.

If it weren't for these fleeting moments of stillness, I think my head would fly right off.

~ ~ ~

Psalm 46:10

"Be still and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations.
I will be exalted in the earth!"

(including exalted over my SAT!)

Bless the Lord, O my soul!

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